Roses Are Red, Violets Are Ugly
by Elselbellkell
Summary: He had meant it to be a compliment but the look Lucy gave was telling Natsu he had said the wrong thing. "It's not my breasts I want people to marry, you moron!" Lucy screeched. It's Valentine's Day. Lucy is pissed, Natsu is confused. Randomness ensues. Oneshot.


**AN: Hello everyone! Long time no see! I was looking through my documents the other day when I found this little story. I wrote this a while back and completely forgot about it. I figured I'd post it; someone might enjoy it after all. A fair warning: it's very random and has no real plot what-so-ever. It's a Valentine's fic I came up with real quick a few Februaries ago. So anyway I hope you enjoy, and review if it compels you to do so:) Thank you to everyone who does, you guys are dee best:***

**Clearly I do not own Fairy Tail. **

Lucy sighed as she laid her head upon the wood of the bar. Everyone around her was hustling, fast paced and frantic, trying to put last minute decorations in place.

Usually when Lucy approached the Fairy Tail bar she would see Mirajane's smiling face, ready to offer her a drink. Not today.

Today Mirajane was quite busy, seeing as she was in charge of the day's festivities. She was off insuring that everything went according to plan.

Lucy let out another sigh. She could sure use some girl talk right about now.

Not to mention a drink.

After all, today she had the perfect excuse for a happy hour.

For today was that 'special' pink and red heart filled holiday: better known as Valentine's Day.

Lucy groaned as she thought of the dreadful word 'valentine.'

This was just another oh so lovely day to remind the celestial mage that she was alone.  
Completely and utterly alone. Nope, no boyfriend for Lucy. No valentine, no flowers, or chocolates sent her way. Zip, zilch, zero.

It was the same every year.

Lucy had never experienced any particular difficulty when it came to attracting men, the hard part was finding one that wasn't already taken or unusually perverted.

"Lu! When did you get here?"

Lucy turned to see Levy approaching the bar, carrying countless pink and red streamers. She was wearing a tight hot-pink skirt with a light pink ruffled blouse. Quite festive, Lucy mused.

"Oh, not that long ago." Lucy smiled, trying to appear somewhat cheerful. "Did Mira ask you to help decorate?"

Levy shook her head, placing the decorations on the bar. "No, I volunteered actually. I just love Valentine's day so I wanted to help out however I could."

Levy smiled, she was positively glowing. Lucy had a feeling Levy's 'love' for this day and newfound glow was mostly due to a certain overly pierced individual.

"Yo, bunny girl!"

Speak of the iron devil.

"How many times do I have to tell you notto call me that!" Lucy snapped as Gajeel approached the bar.

"Yeah, whatever. What are you doing over here? We could use your help."

It was here that Lucy noticed (to her absolute shock) that Gajeel too was carrying decorations.  
He couldn't be...

"Are you actually helping them _decorate_?" Lucy gaped, hardly believing her eyes.

Gajeel's cheeks seemed to color ever so slightly, "Yeah, what's it to you! At least I'm doing something, not sitting around drinking the day away looking like some freakin' bunny."

Lucy's brow twitched, "I'm _not_ a bunny! And I'm not drinking either!"

Levy giggled, "Calm down Lu, Gajeel didn't mean it, I'm sure."

Gajeel gave an angry snort at this, which Levy ignored. "But would you like to help? It might cheer you up. You seem a little low today."

Lucy smiled. She could always count on Levy to be considerate. "No, that's alright. Besides I feel fine, don't worry about me." Lucy smiled again.

Levy still looked concerned, "Are you sure? Do you need me to do something?"

"She said she's fine," Gajeel said, cutting in, "lets' just leave the damn bunny. We have a lot of work to do still."

Levy shot the Iron dragon slayer a look.

"What?" Was all he had to defend with.

"It really is fine." Lucy added, trying to ignore the 'bunny' comment, "I'm just a little tired. I'll take a nap and presto!"

"Well if you're sure..." Levy spoke, picking up the streamers.

"She's sure, now let's go." Gajeel said, taking Levy by the arm.

Lucy couldn't help but smile at the two. Though Gajeel undoubtedly got on the blonde's nerves, she felt happy that Levy had found someone she cared so deeply about (and who obviously felt the same).

Just as Lucy began to feel happy for her friend, she once again couldn't help but feel sorry for herself.

When would _she_ find a romance like that?

"Hiya Lucy!"

Lucy looked to her side to see Natsu sitting on one of the bar stools.

She squeaked in alarm, not expecting the fire mage to be right next to her.

"Natsu! You scared the crap out of me!" Lucy screeched then as an afterthought added, "Just how long have you been sitting there anyway?"

Natsu seemed to ponder this before shrugging, "How would I know?"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Shouldn't you be helping everyone decorate?"

Natsu raised a brow, smiling, "Nope. Shouldn't you?"

Lucy sighed lowering her head to the bar again, "Nothank you_._ I hate this stupid holiday."

Natsu's brows furrowed at this, "Why? Isn't this supposed to be happy-love day or something?"

"It's called Valentine's day Natsu." Lucy spoke, not bothering to lift her head, "And I hate it because I don't have a significant other in which to share said 'love' with."

Natsu gave a quizzical look, "What significant other? You mean another you? You _do_ have that Lucy, in Edolas!"

Natsu laughed at Lucy's 'terrible' memory while the blonde slapped a hand to her forehead.

"Significant other does not mean another me!" Lucy shouted, clearly exasperated, "It means a-well...you know, someone who likes you."

"Oh." Natsu said, seeming to understand, "But I like you Lucy! Aren't I your significant other then?"

Although Lucy knew Natsu was getting confused she still couldn't help but blush.

"No, no you idiot!" Lucy said, trying to hide her reddened cheeks, "Not _that_ kind of like! Like as in _more_ than friends, you know, _like_, like. The kind that becomes love?"

Suddenly what Lucy had meant hit Natsu like a ton of bricks. "Ohhh _that_, like."

Natsu's realization quickly turned to a look of embarrassment, "_Oh._"

Lucy nodded, not noticing how uncomfortable her teammate looked. "_Now_ do you see why I'm so depressed? I'm going to die alone and all this holiday does is remind me of it!"

Lucy slammed her head against the bar, overdramatics was something the celestial mage had a knack for.

"Aw c'mon Luce." Natsu said, patting the blonde's head with a smile (trying to push back the unnatural feeling from before), "You're not going to die alone. Why, with breasts like those, I'm sure plenty of guys will want to marry you!"

He had meant it to be a compliment but the look Lucy gave was telling Natsu he had said the_ wrong _thing.

"It's not my breasts I want people to marry, you moron!" Lucy screeched.

Natsu immediately put his hands up in defense, "Wait a sec, that's not how I meant it! I swear! I just meant that, you know, you have pretty good qualities."

This did not seem to help.

Lucy stood up from her stool, rage flowing through her, "_Pretty good_? I have _pretty_ good qualities? Oh wow, thank you _so_ much. Let me just go out and find someone to fall in love my 'pretty good' qualities and large breasts!"

With this Lucy stormed out of the guild, leaving Natsu perplexed.

"Bad move, aye."

Happy sat, beside Natsu on the bar table. He had been hiding safely behind the bar, not wanting to get mixed up in the squabble _or _Lucy's rage.

"What did I say?" Natsu questioned, Lucy could be so damn unreasonable.

"'Pretty good' is not a phrase usually favored among the female species." A different voice spoke.  
Natsu turned to see Gray now rising from behind the bar.

"What the hell are you two doing back there?" Natsu asked, looking over to make sure no other unexpected guests would come forward.

"Getting some drinks, obviously." Gray said, pouring some sort of liquor into a glass.

"And food, aye." Happy chimed in, munching on a piece of fish.

Natsu blinked, "Whatever. What's wrong with pretty good? It's a compliment!"

Gray let out a sarcastic laugh, "What, like the breast comment? Those aren't the kind of 'compliments' girls usually like."

"Aye." Happy agreed, his mouth full of seafood.

"Why not?" Natsu questioned, "It's not like it's a bad thing."

"Maybe not to _you_ but women don't want to be told they have large breasts." Gray said, taking a sip from his glass, "They like to be told they have soft hair, or an intelligent mind, or some crap like that. And I'm positive _no one_ likes to be told they have 'pretty' good of anything. People are usually looking for something more along the lines of great, or fantastic."

At this Natsu seemed even more confused, "But why not? Lucy_ does_ have soft hair and she _is_ smart. That's what I meant by good qualities!"

"You didn't say good," Happy stated, "you said _pretty_ good."

Natsu's perplexed expression did not leave, "So! What's the difference?"

"The difference, firebreath," Gray stated, "is that good means _good_ and pretty good means _pretty _good. As in _almost_ good. As in good,_ for the most part_."

Natsu seemed to consider this, "So...it was an insult?"

Gray rolled his eyes, "It would seem so. Damn you're an idiot."

Natsu shot up, "What'd you say?"

Gray threw down his shirt, "So you're stupid _and_ you have bad hearing? I said you're an idiot, pinky!"

"Who are you calling pinky, ice brain!" Smoke was now coming from Natsu's nose.

"Who do ya think? The only_ idiot_ who has pink hair!"

"That's it asshole!"

"Bring it dipshit!"

Happy sighed as the two began their brawl. It seemed he would have to take his fish elsewhere.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Lucy plucked the petals off yet another pink rose. The Landlady had given them to her, claiming that she had no intention of accepting 'that' desperate man's attempts at romance.

Whoever 'that' man was, Lucy had no idea. All she knew was that even the Landlady had someone who cared enough to send her flowers.

Lucy gave a frustrated grunt as she chucked the bare rose stem at her trashcan, missing.

She picked up new rose and got to work. Now not only was she depressed, she was angry too.

That damn Natsu!

Where did he get off telling her that she had 'pretty' good qualities? As if that was something she should be over the moon about!

Lucy gave 'tsh' at this thought. Why if that idiot had any sense about him he would have just kept his mouth shut!

Though Lucy supposed what Natsu had said shouldn't bother her too much, after all what did she care what that fire-brain thought?

It wasn't like he had such great qualities!

Sure he was kind, and yeah he might have saved her life once...or twice. And yes, he might have been _somewhat_ attractive, when he wasn't destroying the guild or whatever town he was_ supposed_ to be protecting. And maybe he was strong...and a bit muscular...and his hair _was_ always surprisingly soft...and he always looked so-

"EE-ouch!"

Lucy squeaked, having accidentally pricked her finger on a thorn.

She put the finger to her mouth and found that it was bleeding. Lucy groaned and headed for her bathroom sink.

What was wrong with her! Natsu was Natsu! It wasn't like he was some sort of Casanova! If anything it was the opposite! He almost _always _said the wrong thing, he was careless all the time, and got on Lucy's nerves on a daily basis, not to mention-

"Hey Luce, could we talk?"

Lucy let out yet another squeak. Natsu stood at her bathroom door, his lip had a fresh cut and his left cheek was bruised.

That was _another_ thing wrong with Natsu, he was always barging in uninvited!

"Natsu, why can't you_ ever _just use the door?" Lucy asked, putting a bandage on her finger.

"You don't answer it when you're mad, besides the window is more fun." Natsu smiled which seemed to only irk Lucy further.

"If I don't answer maybe it means I don't want company." Lucy retorted, going past Natsu, towards her bed.

"C'mon Lucy, don't be like that." Natsu said, following the celestial mage, "I didn't mean to upset you. I thought it was a compliment, honest!"

Lucy groaned, falling onto her bed and pulling her blankets over her.

"_Lucy_." Natsu whined, sitting on the bed next to the blonde, "Please come out. You have great qualities, the best!"

Lucy threw the covers off her head and turned around. "So now you're _making fun_ of me? Wonderful. That's _just _what I needed!"

Natsu was once again perplexed, how had he made fun of her? "What are you talking about Lucy? I only said something nice!"

Lucy pushed Natsu off her bed so that she could get up. Natsu hit the ground with an 'OMPH' and Lucy made her way to the front door.

"What was that for!" Natsu called out, his patience was starting to wear thin.

"_That_ was for being an insensitive jackass!" Lucy retorted, pulling on her boots.

"How the hell was I being insensitive?" Natsu was oh so _very_ confused.

"_Oh please_!" Was all Lucy had to say before she was out the door, slamming it behind her.

Natsu let out somewhat of a growl before getting up and charging after the dramatic blonde.

He looked out to find Lucy walking down the road next to the river.

"Lucy!" Natsu called and when the celestial mage didn't turn her head, he had no choice but to run after her.

"Lucy! Can you at least explain what I did to piss you off?" Natsu was right beside the blonde now, much to the latter's annoyance.

"Just leave me alone!" Lucy screeched, walking on the edge of the wall to the river.

"But why! I didn't even do anything! I won't leave until you tell me what I did!" Natsu was beyond reason, now _he_ was pissed off.

"Natsu!" Lucy yelled, turning towards the fire-mage, "When I say leave me alone it means: _leave me alone_!"

At this Natsu was so frustrated that he reached for Lucy's arm in order to pull her down, so that they might have a decent conversation.

Lucy however, seeing this attempt at contact, was so angry that she yanked her hand back.

This movement caused the young mage to set off her balance. Needless to say, such an action caused the blonde to topple over. Natsu had reached for Lucy but alas, it was too late. The celestial mage let out an "EEEK!" right before hitting the water below.

"Lucy!" Natsu called out and jumped in after his friend.

Lucy gasped for air as Natsu pulled her out of the water and back onto the safety of the road.  
The two sat coughing and heaving for a few moments.

When Lucy had at last caught her breath she looked up to see Natsu dripping wet. His pink hair had gone flat and his clothes were soaked.

Natsu looked down at the state of his favorite (and only) scarf.

"Oh crap!" He whined and quickly began to wring out the material, giving a face of deep disapproval.  
Lucy's mouth twitched, threatening to break into a smile.

_NO._ Lucy thought, determined. _I will not give in! I'm still mad!_

Lucy shot up and said, as quickly as possible, "PissmeoffagainandI'llhateyou!"

With that the young woman ran off towards the guild, holding her mouth so as not to laugh, she needed to stay mad dammit!

Natsu sat looking on in shock. Had Lucy really just said that, or was it his imagination?

As it so happened the celestial mage had said, "Piss me off again and I'll hate you"

Unfortunately for Natsu (and perhaps Lucy, depending on how one feels about such things) the dragon slayer heard something else _entirely_.

_Kiss me hot again and I'll date you!_

Date? Hot? _Kiss_?

Natsu sat, reeling from confusion and what would seem to be embarrassment, or was it dread? Perhaps both. At anyrate what Lucy had said, threw the fire mage for quite a loop.

"What's wrong?" Happy asked, landing next to Natsu.

He had flown around town in search of his companion and upon seeing a livid Lucy rushing towards the guild, figured Natsu was not far behind.

"I think..." Natsu's voice was a whisper, never had he been rendered so speechless.

What was happening!

Happy's face scrunched into one of deep concern. "Natsu? You seem...weird."

Natsu nodded, not even knowing why. He was still thinking of the very detailed sentence Lucy had screamed at him.

_Kiss_ her?

"C'mon, don't scare me!" Happy was now more than concerned, he was downright frightened.

Natsu snapped out of his stupor long enough to get the words out.

"I think Lucy wants me to..._kiss her_."

Happy gave Natsu an incredulous look, "That's impossible!"

Natsu felt slightly offended by this statement and momentarily forgot his shock, "And why's that? I'm kissable!"

Happy suddenly burst out into a fit of laughter, causing Natsu to turn bright red.

"I-I mean-you know-it's not like-STOP LAUGHING!"

Alas, the blue feline could not contain himself and proceeded to fall over, heaving with laughter.

Natsu was _mortified_. He had to get out of there, before someone else came along to make fun of his...situation.

Natsu took off towards the guild, not pausing to think that, _that_ had been the precise direction in which the certain cause of trouble had gone.  
**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When Lucy reached the guild, she immediately charged towards the bar.

Mirajane was there this time, decorating the sides with pink and red striped streamers.

"Lucy! How are-" Mirajane stopped mid-sentence upon seeing Lucy's drenched state.

"What happened to _you_?" Cana pried raising a curious brow. She sat at the bar 'helping' Mirajane decorate it (which consisted of Cana drinking and Mirajane working).

Lucy ignored the question and instead reached for one of Cana's bottles of alcohol.

"Okay, have some then..." Cana said halfway irritated and halfway concerned.

Lucy took a swig from the bottle, coughing and spilling some of the contents.

Cana whined at the wasted drops as Mirajane gasped. Lucy was not usually one to drink hard liquor.

"Lucy, are you alright?" Mirjane asked, feeling slightly disturbed by the celestial mage's actions.

Lucy sighed, putting the bottle down.

"I suppose, I just..." Lucy's face scrunched into one of agony as she slammed her head against the wood of the bar, "_hate this stupid holiday_!"

Mirajane and Cana exchanged worried glances.

Lucy lifted her head and got up to leave, snatching Cana's bottle in the process.

"Hey!" Cana called and was about to chase the blonde when Mirajane stopped her.

"Perhaps, she needs it more than you." Mirajane offered and Cana had to nodd.

She couldn't argue with that.  
**XXXXXXXX**

As Natsu walked fast-paced towards the guild, he couldn't help but run Lucy's words over and over through his head.

_"Kiss me hot again and I'll date you!"_

Again? How could they possibly kiss _again_? When was the first time?

Natsu racked his brain, none of this was adding up.

Why would Lucy want him to kiss her if she was so mad?

Unless...was it a challenge?

A light bulb seemed to go off in Natsu's head.

A challenge! That would make sense!

Lucy was angry; therefore it was only natural that she wished to see Natsu fail at something.  
Knowing that the fire mage could handle whatever _normal _challenge she could cook up, Lucy had undoubtedly thought of one in which the dragon slayer would not come forth victorious!

She was clever, Natsu had to admit, confusing him like that. But he had seen through her plan and would accept the challenge! No, he would _win _the challenge, no _dominate_ it.

Natsu charged towards the guild.

He would give Lucy the hottest kiss of her life!  
**XXXXXXXXXX**

Lucy sat in the Fairy Tail cellar, feeling sorry for herself.  
This day had been _ass_.

First there was Natsu telling her she only had 'pretty' good qualities, then had come their stupid fight and of course to top it all off the blonde was still wet.

_Oh_, not to mention what day it was.

Lucy sighed, attempting to take another drink from the bottle, only to spit it out.

It seemed she was not made to process something so _potent_.  
Lucy pushed the bottle aside, hugging her knees close to her chest.  
It was bad enough that it was Valentine's day but now she and Natsu were in a fight.

Lucy frowned, she hated fighting with Natsu.

Sure, they argued almost constantly but it was never anything too serious. It was a rare occasion they actually _fought_.

Lucy let out another sigh.

She supposed she had been a little harsh. After all, Natsu had never been very good at giving compliments, intentionally anyway. He had actually given Lucy some of the most wonderful compliments she had ever received, when he wasn't trying and just spoke his mind that was. But it seemed every time Natsu _tried _to say something flattering it always came out as offensive more than anything else.

Lucy bit her lip, she suddenly felt guilty. She had been so upset about it being Valentine's day that she had accidentally taken her anger out on Natsu. He probably _was_ just trying to compliment her. Her poor best friend had tried to cheer her up and what had she done? Screamed at him.

Lucy groaned placing her face on her knees, she had been a jerk. What had she said?

_"Piss me off again and I'll hate you!"_

Lucy let out an even more desperate groan, burying her face now.

How could she have been so bitchy?

That stupid sentence didn't even make any sense!

And I'll _hate you_? What was she thinking?

Lucy lifted her head from her knees, knowing that she had to apologize.

Just as Lucy had climbed the stairs and opened the cellar door she heard someone shouting.  
**XXX**

Natsu barged into the guild, his eyes burning.

He rushed to the bar where Mirajane and Cana were still decorating.

"Hello Natsu, where have-" Mirajane stopped yet again, Natsu looked ready for battle.

"Where's Lucy?" He all but growled and Mirajane laughed nervously.

"What the hell is up with you?" Cana asked, she was getting sick and tired of so many people interrupting her drinking.

"_Where_," Natsu started again low, making Cana gulp, "_is she_?"

"Natsu," Mirajane warned, still sounding cheerful, "just what are you planning?"

Natsu did not answer; he had more pressing matters at hand.

"LUCY!" He called out, gaining the attention of everyone currently inside the guild, "I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!"

Suddenly the celestial mage appeared.

"Natsu? What are you yelling about?" Lucy felt confused and tried to push back the nagging annoyance that was threatening to creep back up.

"_You_!" Natsu pointed, before stomping over to Lucy, only stopping when they were mere inches apart.

Lucy stepped back only to find she was already pressed against a wall. Just what the hell was Natsu doing?

"Natsu, what in God's name-"

"I accept." Natsu spoke suddenly, his voice raspy from shouting, giving Lucy chills.

"A-accept? And just what is it you're accepting?" Lucy had intended on sounding irritated but was betrayed by her slightly quivering voice.

_Damn stuttering._

"Your challenge." Natsu answered, he wouldn't let Lucy's act of confusion trick him!

"_Huh_? Challenge? What ch-"

Lucy was cut off by Natsu's lips abruptly crashing against her own.

Cana spit out her drink in shock while Mirajane clasped her hands together in glee.

Lucy tried to process what was happening. Was Natsu...was he kissing her? Holy crap, Natsu was _kissing_ her!

Natsu opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and Lucy couldn't help but allow it.

After all, he was a fire mage and his mouth was freaking _hot_. And one simply couldn't think straight with heat like that.

After a few moments, Natsu pulled away, lips red and mildly swollen from the rough contact.

Lucy stood frozen. What had just happened?

Natsu felt his plan of winning backfire.

He was supposed to give one kiss and be through, bragging that he had won.

Yet as soon as he had pulled away, Natsu found himself wanting nothing more than to go right back to Lucy's lips.

"Natsu...what..." Lucy attempted to form a sentence; after all, there were questions that needed answering here!

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Natsu found himself asking. "To have a significant other?"

Suddenly it appeared the 'challenge' had been completely forgotten.

Lucy didn't know what to say, she was utterly stunned.

"And besides," Natsu added, "I like your 'pretty good' qualities."

Natsu smiled, and Lucy felt herself do the same.

Now _that_ was a compliment.

"Can I kiss you again?" Natsu asked and Lucy blushed at how blunt her teammate could be.

"OF COURSE!" Mirajane called from the bar and Lucy felt a wave of embarrassment that was until Natsu's lips were on hers again.

Maybe Valentine's day wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
